Recovery from an eating disorder is not always a straight line. It’s natural to have ups and downs along the way. But catching the early signs of relapse can make a huge difference in preventing a full return to old behaviors. Think of relapse not as failure, but as valuable feedback – a signal that extra support and self-care may be needed right now.
Below are some key signs to watch for, along with steps you can take to intervene early.
1. Old Thought Patterns Creeping Back
You may notice a rise in critical self-talk, obsessive thoughts about food, body image, or the urge to compare yourself to others. These thoughts might feel quieter than they once did, but their return is a red flag.
What to do: Pause and name the thought as an “old voice” rather than a truth. Journaling or sharing these thoughts with a trusted support person can help reduce their power.
2. Increasing Food Rules or Restrictions
Relapse often begins subtly—skipping snacks, cutting out certain food groups, or feeling anxious when routines change. These “small” rules can quickly snowball if not addressed.
What to do: Notice if you’re labeling foods as “good” or “bad” again. Remind yourself that all foods fit in recovery, and check in with your treatment team if mealtime anxiety increases.
3. Avoiding Social Situations
Isolation is a common warning sign. Saying no to plans, avoiding meals with others, or pulling away from support can indicate a return of shame or fear around food and body.
What to do: Challenge yourself to stay connected, even in small ways. A short phone call or a walk with a friend can break the cycle of avoidance.
4. Fixation on Weight or Appearance
Weighing yourself more often, scrutinizing mirrors, or comparing your body to old photos are early warning signs.
What to do: Try limiting exposure to triggers (like body-checking mirrors or certain social media feeds). Practice grounding exercises to reconnect with the present moment.
5. Physical Clues from Your Body
Feeling lightheaded, fatigued, or noticing irregular eating/sleeping patterns can signal relapse before behaviors fully return. The body often shows what the mind is struggling to admit.
What to do: Treat these physical signs as messages of care, not criticism. Rest, eat regularly, and reach out for support if symptoms persist.
6. Loss of Motivation or Hopelessness
Telling yourself “What’s the point?” or feeling indifferent about your recovery journey can be an emotional warning sign.
What to do: Revisit your “why” for recovery. Reflect on the values and goals that motivated you in the first place. Sometimes reconnecting with your vision of a full life can reignite motivation.
Moving Forward with Compassion
Remember: relapse is not failure. It is information. Spotting early warning signs gives you the chance to course-correct and lean into your support system. If you notice these signs in yourself – or in someone you love – respond with compassion rather than judgment.
Recovery is not about perfection, it’s about persistence. Every time you notice and respond to these signals, you strengthen your resilience and commitment to healing.
Journal Prompt: “What are three early warning signs I personally notice when recovery feels shaky? What is one gentle action I can take if I see them?”
When most people think of eating disorders, they picture someone drastically underweight, counting every calorie, or purging after meals. But the truth is: eating disorders rarely look the way weexpect. They can affect people of all body sizes, ages, genders, and backgrounds. And because of stereotypes, many early warning signs are overlooked until the disorder has already taken root.
Recognizing the less obvious signs can make all the difference in getting help sooner. Here are some red flags that often go unnoticed:
1. Preoccupation With Food Without Eating More
It might look like a “healthy obsession” with recipes, cooking shows, or nutrition facts, but if someone spends a disproportionate amount of time thinking about food without actually eating, it can signal restriction or deprivation.
2. Changes in Mood and Social Habits
Irritability, withdrawal from friends, or avoiding social situations that involve meals can be a subtle warning. Eating disorders thrive in isolation, so skipping dinners or making excuses to not eat with others can be a red flag.
3. Rigid Rules Around Eating
Eating only at certain times, refusing entire food groups, or labeling foods as strictly “good” or “bad” are warning signs. These rules may initially appear like “discipline” or “self-control” but can quickly become compulsive and harmful.
4. Excessive Exercise or Guilt After Rest
While exercise is often praised, when it’s driven by guilt, becomes inflexible, or is used as punishment for eating, it can be a sign of disordered behavior – even if the person doesn’t appear “underweight.”
5. Body Checking Behaviors
Constantly touching certain body parts, frequent mirror checks, or asking for reassurance about appearance can be subtle indicators of body dissatisfaction that often accompany eating disorders.
6. Physical Symptoms That Don’t Seem Connected
Frequent dizziness, feeling cold all the time, brittle nails, thinning hair, digestive issues, or dental problems can all be side effects of disordered eating patterns. These are often dismissed as unrelated health concerns but may signal something deeper.
7. “Healthy Eating” Taken Too Far
Orthorexia – the fixation on “clean” or “perfect” eating – often flies under the radar because it looks like strong willpower. But when someone’s life shrinks around their food rules, or they experience anxiety when “safe” foods aren’t available, it can be a sign of trouble.
8. Sudden Shifts in Eating Habits
Cutting portion sizes, skipping meals, or swinging between restriction and overeating are often rationalized as “dieting” or “stress eating.” But frequent fluctuations in eating habits deserve attention.
Final Thoughts
Eating disorders don’t always announce themselves loudly. Many of the early signs masquerade as everyday behaviors that our culture often praises – discipline, healthy eating, fitness. But when these habits become rigid, isolating, or controlling, they may be a signal that someone is struggling.
If you notice these signs in yourself or someone you care about, know that it’s not about blame – it’s about awareness. Reaching out for support early can save years of pain and bring healing closer than you think.
If your child has an eating disorder, you may feel overwhelmed, scared, or unsure of what to do next. As a parent, you want to help, but eating disorders are complex illnesses that require patience, compassion, and the right kind of support.
The good news: recovery is possible. With the right treatment and a supportive home environment, your child can heal. In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways parents can support a child withan eating disorder, from creating a safe environment to partnering with professionals.
What Parents Should Know About Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are not choices or phases. They are serious mental health conditions that affect the body, mind, and emotions. Common types include:
Anorexia nervosa
Bulimia nervosa
Binge eating disorder
ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)
OSFED (Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder)
Each disorder looks different, but they all require professional treatment. As a parent, the more you educate yourself about eating disorders, the more prepared you’ll be to provide the right kind of support.
1. Educate Yourself About Eating Disorders
The first step is learning as much as you can. Understanding the signs, symptoms, and recovery process helps reduce fear and confusion.
Read reliable resources from organizations like NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association).
Attend parent support groups or educational workshops.
Knowledge is empowering – it helps you replace worry with informed, compassionate action.
2. Create a Supportive Home Environment
Your home can be either a safe haven or a source of extra stress. Small changes make a big difference.
Avoid diet talk. Do not discuss calories, weight, or appearance. Focus instead on your child’s character, talents, and values.
Model balanced eating. Show that food is meant to nourish and enjoy – not to fear.
Establish routines. Consistent mealtimes and predictable daily rhythms reduce anxiety.
A safe home environment for a child with an eating disorder communicates love and stability.
3. Use Compassionate Communication
Talking with your child about their eating disorder can feel tricky, but the way you communicate matters.
Listen first. Your child may feel judged or misunderstood. Listening without interruption shows you care.
Use “I” statements. For example: “I notice you seem anxious at dinner. How can I support you right now?”
Avoid blame. Remember: eating disorders are no one’s fault.
The goal is to keep the door open. Compassionate, non-judgmental conversations reduce secrecy and shame.
4. Partner With Their Treatment Team
Recovery usually involves therapists, dietitians, doctors, and sometimes programs like IOP (Intensive Outpatient Programs). Parents are an essential part of this team.
Attend family therapy sessions.
Ask the treatment team how to support meal plans at home.
Respect your child’s privacy, but stay involved.
You don’t need to be an expert. Instead, think of yourself as a steady partner in your child’s recovery.
5. Support Meal Times Without Power Struggles
Mealtimes are often one of the hardest parts of recovery. Your child may feel fearful, resistant, or anxious.
Stay calm. Your tone and energy can ease the tension.
Keep conversation neutral. Avoid food or body topics – talk about school, hobbies, or something light.
Encourage gently. Use phrases like: “I know this is hard, but I’m right here with you.”
Your role is to provide support, not to force compliance. The goal is to make meals feel safe rather than like a battle.
6. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Parenting a child with an eating disorder is emotionally draining. To be the best support for your child, you need to take care of yourself as well.
Seek therapy or join a parent support group for eating disorders.
Practice self-care through rest, exercise, journaling, or mindfulness.
Give yourself permission to feel the full range of emotions.
Remember, caring for yourself is not selfish – it’s essential for sustaining your ability to help your child.
7. Hold On to Hope
Eating disorder recovery is not a quick process. There may be ups and downs, but healing is possible.
Remind your child – and yourself – of these truths:
They are not defined by their eating disorder.
Recovery is possible with time and support.
They are deeply loved, exactly as they are.
Your steady belief in their ability to heal provides them with hope they may not yet be able to hold for themselves.
Final Thoughts: How Parents Can Support a Child With an Eating Disorder
As a parent, you don’t need to have all the answers. What matters most is being present with love, patience, and understanding. By educating yourself, creating a supportive home environment, practicing compassionate communication, and partnering with professionals, you become a powerful part of your child’s healing journey.
If you suspect your child has an eating disorder, don’t wait – reach out for professional help. And remember: you are not alone. Support groups, therapists, and recovery coaches are here for both you and your child.
Recovery is possible – and your support can make all the difference.
For so many people navigating eating disorder recovery, weight gain is the part they fear the most. It can feel like the enemy, the thing standing in the way of feeling safe or in control. But the truth is, weight gain in recovery is not the problem—it’s part of the solution. And when we zoom out, it becomes clear that weight restoration is not only about the body but also about freedom, wholeness, and healing.
In this post, I want to break down what weight gain in recovery really means and why it is not something to resist, but rather something to understand and embrace.
1. Weight Gain Is a Physical Healing Process
When the body has been deprived—whether through restriction, over-exercise, or other disordered behaviors—it goes into survival mode. Essential systems slow down or shut off. Your body becomes skilled at doing the bare minimum with limited fuel.
Weight gain is a signal that your body is coming back to life. It means:
Organs are healing. Your heart, brain, liver, and digestive system begin functioning fully again.
Hormones rebalance. Menstrual cycles may return, mood stabilizes, and energy becomes steadier.
Bone density can improve. With adequate nutrition, your bones are better protected against fractures and long-term osteoporosis.
Cognitive clarity increases. Food provides the nutrients your brain needs to think, focus, and make decisions.
In other words, weight gain isn’t just “extra pounds.” It’s your body repairing itself from the inside out.
2. Weight Gain Isn’t Losing Control—it’s Regaining It
Eating disorders trick you into believing that control over weight equals control over life. But what’s actually happening is that the eating disorder takes control away from you. You’re left consumed with obsessive thoughts about food, your body, and numbers, leaving little room for joy or freedom.
Weight gain in recovery doesn’t mean you’re spiraling out of control. It means you’re actively choosing life over your eating disorder. It’s proof that you’re no longer allowing fear to dictate your choices. In fact, true control looks like the ability to eat freely, to enjoy social situations without anxiety, and to listen to your body without judgment.
3. Weight Gain Doesn’t Equal “Failure”
Diet culture tells us that smaller is always better, that losing weight equals success. In recovery, it can feel confusing to move in the opposite direction. But here’s the truth:
Gaining weight is not failing—it’s healing.
Gaining weight is not weakness—it’s courage.
Gaining weight is not the end of your story—it’s the beginning of a new one.
Every pound gained is evidence that you are moving toward recovery, not away from it.
4. Weight Gain Brings You Back to Your Authentic Self
Eating disorders don’t just rob you of weight—they rob you of your personality, your joy, and your full range of emotions. Malnutrition can blunt your spirit, leaving you feeling flat, disconnected, or consumed by obsession.
As your body heals through nourishment and weight restoration, you often notice:
Energy returns—you can laugh, play, and engage in activities you love.
Emotions re-emerge—you feel things more deeply (even if it’s hard at first).
Relationships deepen—you’re no longer too drained or preoccupied to show up fully.
Identity strengthens—you remember who you are beyond the eating disorder.
Weight gain isn’t just about body size—it’s about reclaiming the fullness of life.
5. Your “Set Point” Is About Health, Not Numbers
Bodies have a natural weight range, sometimes called a “set point,” where they function best. That range may or may not align with what your eating disorder believes is “acceptable.”
Weight gain in recovery is your body moving back toward its natural set point—a place where it can thrive physically, mentally, and emotionally. This doesn’t look the same for everyone, and that’s okay. Recovery is not about fitting into one standard but about allowing your body to settle where it feels safe.
6. Weight Gain Creates Space for True Freedom
Think about it: how much time and energy has your eating disorder consumed? How many hours have you spent worrying, calculating, or obsessing?
Weight gain is not just about numbers on a scale. It represents:
Less brain space consumed by food and body thoughts.
More energy for dreams, relationships, and passions.
Freedom to live without restriction and fear.
Ultimately, weight gain is the doorway to freedom. It’s what allows you to move beyond surviving into truly living.
Final Thoughts
It’s okay to be scared of weight gain in recovery. It’s okay if the process feels uncomfortable or overwhelming at times. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it means you’re healing.
Weight gain is not the enemy. The real enemy is the eating disorder that convinced you otherwise. By nourishing your body and allowing it to restore itself, you’re choosing life, freedom, and authenticity.
Every ounce gained is proof of your courage and commitment to recovery. So instead of seeing it as something to fight against, try to view it as what it truly is: a sign that you are coming back home to yourself.
Takeaway:
Weight gain is not just about the body—it’s about healing, reclaiming your true self, and creating a life beyond your eating disorder.
Recovery is not a straight line—it’s a journey with twists, turns, and sometimes a few stumbles along the way. If you’ve experienced a setback in your eating disorder recovery, you are not failing. In fact, setbacks are a normal part of the process and can even become powerful teachers if we approach them with compassion and curiosity.
Reframe What a Setback Means
Many people see setbacks as proof they can’t recover. The truth is, they don’t erase your progress—they’re simply part of the learning process. Healing often involves practicing new ways of coping, and it’s natural to slip back into old patterns at times. Think of a setback as feedback, not failure.
Journal Prompt: What is this setback showing me about where I still need support, patience, or healing?
Pause Before Judgment
The most painful part of a setback is often not the behavior itself, but the shame and self-criticism that follows. Be mindful of your inner voice. Instead of saying, “I messed up, I’ll never get better,” try shifting to, “I had a hard moment, and I’m still moving forward.”
Mantra to Try: I can stumble and still move toward freedom.
Reach for Support
Setbacks often happen in isolation. Recovery thrives in connection. Whether it’s reaching out to a coach, therapist, trusted friend, or support group, sharing what happened can ease the weight of secrecy and help you find your way back more quickly.
Return to Your Anchors
Think about the tools, routines, or practices that usually ground you. This could be eating balanced meals, journaling, meditating, or practicing self-care. After a setback, gently return to what helps you feel steady rather than trying to “make up for it.”
Tip: Create a “recovery reset plan”—a short list of actions you know support you when you feel off track.
Trust the Bigger Picture
One slip does not define you. Recovery is built over weeks, months, and years of showing up for yourself. Each time you move through a setback with kindness and recommitment, you strengthen your resilience and deepen your healing.
Final Thoughts
Setbacks don’t mean you’re back at square one—they mean you’re human. What matters most is how you respond afterward. By meeting yourself with compassion, learning from the experience, and leaning on your supports, you can turn setbacks into stepping stones on your path to lasting recovery.
Asking for Help: The Moment I Knew I Couldn’t Do This Alone
By the time I finally entered therapy, I already knew what my eating disorder represented. I had read all the books. I had analyzed myself to death. I understood that my eating disorder was never really about food. It never is.
It was my coping mechanism. Restrictive eating? That meant I was starving my feelings away. Bingeing? That meant I was burying emotions I didn’t want to face. Purging? That was me trying to expel the feelings entirely. I wasn’t just throwing up food—I was throwing up shame, grief, anger, fear. I was chasing total emotional numbness.
But even with all that insight, all that self-awareness, I still couldn’t stop.
There were moments when I wanted to recover. But if I’m being honest, there were also moments when I was deeply grateful for my disorder. I was terrified of what life would be like without it. I thought that if I let it go, I’d be left to face every painful emotion I had spent years trying to avoid. I didn’t believe I had the strength to survive those feelings. I was convinced they would crush me.
Deciding to seek help for my eating disorder was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.
I had flirted with the idea for a long time. But it wasn’t until I started scaring myself that I finally made the decision.
I had been scaring my friends and family for years, but I always brushed them off. I told myself they were overreacting. I told myself I was in control. Spoiler: I wasn’t. The truth is, my eating disorder controlled me—and I was the last one to admit it.
My purging episodes were getting worse. I would pass out by the toilet. The room would spin, and I would lose all sense of where I was. My vision would blur. Everything felt foggy, like I was outside of my body. I’d crawl to my bedroom on hands and knees, dragging myself into bed before blacking out under the covers.
I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, but this was something else. This wasn’t drama. This was real. This was dangerous. And for the first time, I was scared.
I didn’t mean to break down in my gynecologist’s office. All he did was ask how I was doing—and I crumbled. The words came pouring out: how I was starving myself, how I’d binge and purge, how I kept trying to stop and couldn’t.
That moment changed my life.
After examining me, he quietly left the room. A few minutes later, I heard him in the hallway on the phone, calling the eating disorder treatment center I eventually went to. He came back in and told me they had an appointment for me next week. I could fill out the intake paperwork and a questionnaire before the visit to help them create a personalized treatment plan for eating disorder recovery.
I was overwhelmed with two conflicting emotions: fear and hope.
I was terrified at the thought of giving up the one thing that had been with me for so long. My constant companion. My crutch. How would I function without it? What would life look like without bingeing, purging, or restricting? Part of me said, “You’ll never make it.” But the other part—the one I hadn’t heard from in a while—whispered, “Maybe you can.”
Asking for help with an eating disorder is scary. Really scary. So many of us have lived in shame for years, convinced we don’t deserve support. That other people deserve to heal, but we don’t.
Let me tell you: you do deserve help. You are not beyond saving. You don’t have to do this alone.
Recovery from bulimia, anorexia, or any disordered eating is possible—but it starts with reaching out.
